2015.7.5 礼拝

Romans12:15-16 – “Learning and Applying Empathy”
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your opinion.
We can be stressed when we feel there’s nobody who understands our feelings. When this happens especially when we are faced with severe hardship, then our distress or feeling of isolation doubles. Have you experienced the following:
– Do you feel your troubles or difficulties are understood by others?
– Isn’t your irritation caused from being not understood by others?
– How do you think your reaction might change when you find that someone really understands you?
Whether or not the present condition or the cause of your stress changes, wouldn’t you be relieved if there was someone who understands your problems and hardships.
① Know that “empathy” is what your companion (yourself) is seeking.
The cause of stress and irritation is the frustration we feel when our worries, distress or efforts are not understood by anyone around us. On the other hand, we should note that such people (husband, wife, children, co-workers, superior) do not actually dislike us, but could possibly be implying “please understand me!” In other word, they are seeking our “empathy” – for us to understand his/her feelings. When we realize that they do not dislike us but could be just acting like a spoiled child and sending messages for us to understand them or notice them more, we would be able to see our partners from a different angle.
God knows everything about us humans and has shown empathy for us. He has made clear that he understands our troubles and difficulties.
② Believe that God has “empathy” on us.
Hebrews 2:18 – Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
Hebrews 4:15 – For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who been tempted in every, just as we are – yet he did not sin.
Matthew 6:8 – “Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
God has designed us to feel the love of our companions when we seek and receive “empathy”. Therefore, we can know and delight in God’s empathy for us and realize the significance to understand another person’s feelings; which is to love one another.
③ Applying “empathy”
Romans 12:15 – Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.
Paul’s words define the clear application of “empathy”. When we understand the other person’s feelings, and if we can share the feelings as our own, then we practice rejoicing and weeping together. However, in actuality we may not be applying the words properly, because we react differently when we hear another person’s troubles. For example, how would you react when a friend brings up a problem about his company? If you were to show empathy, the first words could be something like, “Oh yes,” or “Oh, you’re getting tired of all that.” However, in many cases we tend to react differently with all our sincerity. Such as:
・Evaluating the other person – “But you’re still hanging on!”
・Persuading – “It’s the same with me, don’t be depressed!”
・Advising/giving instructions – “You should talk more with your boss!”
・Encouraging – “Don’t worry. It’s going to work out!” “You’ll just have to do your best!”
While they look like a sound advice, correct answer and appropriate, they may not be able to help your companion at that moment. Probably he could have known our advice or instruction even before we mentioned them. The trouble is that the person is unable to put such advice into practice and solve the problem. Therefore, what is important is to have empathy with what the person seeks. Whether it is our partner’s or our problem, all that is needed is that the distress and worries be heard and listened to.
Life Church will work to practice empathy and build up Life Group to be a community where joy and sadness will be shared together.